


Don't Tell Me You Love Me When We're About to Die

by runningwyld



Series: Getting Together [4]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Episode: s08e10 I Ka Wa Ma Mua I Ka Wa Ma Hope (The Future is in the Past), First Kiss, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-29 16:38:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15077318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runningwyld/pseuds/runningwyld
Summary: After Danny gets shot in quarantine, both he and Steve decide they need to stop being cowards and admit their feelings for each other.





	Don't Tell Me You Love Me When We're About to Die

**Author's Note:**

> Coda to s08e10, “I Ka Wa Ma Mua, I Ka Wa Ma Hope (The Future is in the Past)” Because there are just not enough stories related to this episode. Just kidding.  
> Disclaimer: I have no rights to Hawaii Five-0 or its characters. No infringement is intended. The brief dialog quoted from episode was written by Zoe Robyn

It seemed that whenever one of them finally worked up the courage to admit his feelings, the other one cut him off.  Granted, they were usually facing near certain death, which is not the best time for declarations of love. But still, to Danny’s way of thinking, it was because he and Steve were both cowards when it came to their feelings for each other.  They were only willing to say something when there was a very good chance they wouldn’t be alive to deal with the repercussions.  Maybe they prevented each other from speaking on those occasions because they unconsciously believed they were doomed as soon as they admitted their feelings out loud; and conversely, as long as those feelings remained unspoken they still had a chance.  It happened again on that damn boat.  This time it was Danny who started to say something and Steve who refused to let him get the words out. 

Now Danny was lying in a hospital bed after being shot by someone who obviously hated him, thinking about everything that had happened the last few weeks. It was very unsettling to be hated so much by someone he couldn’t even remember and Danny realized that something in his life had to change.  He wanted more. He was no longer satisfied with the possibility of someday when it came to having a real relationship with Steve. The dreams, or hallucinations, or whatever it was he’d had after being shot, showed him a future where he and Steve were always side-by-side, even long after Five-0 was behind them. It was a future he wanted and seeing it just reinforced how much he wanted someday to begin now. 

Maybe it was the drugs giving him courage, but he refused to keep making excuses.  It was time he and Steve had The Talk.  Just as Danny was trying to decide how best to broach the subject of their relationship with his emotionally stunted partner, there was a cursory knock on the door and his hospital room immediately filled up with people. A few minutes later, Danny listened as Steve and their friends described how events unfolded after he was shot and how close he had come to death once again…

“Cracked your chest open, wiggled my finger around inside there and, uh, stopped your heart from getting crushed, but … you know, no big deal.” Steve explained nonchalantly.

“Yeah, I’m sure it was nothing,” Adam quipped with a slight smile.

“No, brother, it was disgusting,” Lou chimed in with distaste, causing Tani to laugh.

“Did he wash his hands at least?” Danny asked. He was overwhelmed by Steve’s actions and how close he himself had come to dying, so he went to his default, sardonic humor.

“You know, time was really of the essence,” Tani explained. He couldn’t quite tell if she was joking or not.

“So, he didn’t wash his hands,” Danny deduced and Tani shook her head and mouthed, “no.” Leave it to Steve to save his heart from exploding only to risk killing him with his germy fingers.

“You’re such a baby,” Steve told him. “You gonna be a baby about this?”

“Baby?” Danny asked incredulously, but Steve ignored him and continued to defend his actions, or lack thereof in the hand washing department.

“Here, let me tell you something,” Steve insisted. “The fact is, if I didn’t put my finger inside of you, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now. You know?”

“Wow, thanks for that image,” Eric said, clearly uncomfortable with the description.

The looks on the faces of Flippa and Junior indicated they too thought Steve could have chosen his words better.

Danny just rolled his eyes as Steve ignored them all and left the room to take a call. Was it any wonder why he loved the big goof?  

 

A week later, Danny was home and Steve was hovering.  He was exhausted, he hurt like hell, and all he wanted to do was crawl in his bed and sleep.  He was so tired of being sick and injured.  He was definitely getting too old for this shit, but it only strengthened his resolve to talk to Steve about their relationship.  As he made his way under the covers, careful not to make any sudden moves that may cause the hot, stabbing pain in his chest to return, he thought about how nice it would be if Steve was in bed beside him.  Steve had spent every night camped out in Danny’s hospital room sleeping on one of those chairs that turn into a twin-sized bed.  He figured his partner must be almost as exhausted as he was.  

“Get in.”

Steve looked up from spreading an extra blanket across Danny’s legs as if it wasn’t 85 degrees outside. Come to think of it though, Danny was a little cool. Must be the loss of blood. “Stop tucking me in like a three year old and get into bed.  You need to rest almost as much as I do.”

The look on his partner’s face almost made Danny laugh.  Steve’s mouth was hanging open like he was trying to catch flies.  “But, but…”

“Steve, I’m tired of waiting for someday, I’m tired of dancing around this thing between us, I’m just tired, now get in bed so we can both get some rest and we will talk later.”

Steve still didn’t say anything; he just continued to look down at Danny like he didn’t understand what was happening.  Finally though, he sat on the edge of his bed and removed his boots, then, stripping down to his boxer-briefs and t-shirt he lifted the covers and crawled into bed.  He lay on his back with his arms crossed over his chest like a corpse.  Danny huffed out a breath. Clearly, he was going to have to do all the heavy lifting.

“Steve, it hurts too much to move, so you are going to have to come over here." Steve just rolled his head towards Danny, a questioning look on his face.  He could be such a schmuck sometimes. “You’re going to make me ask, aren’t you?  Okay, alright, I will ask.  Steven, will you please come over here and hold me while I take a nap?  I’m tired and I’m in pain and every time I close my eyes I see the hatred in that guy’s eyes before he shot me and I just want … I just want to feel safe.”

After several moments, Steve slowly moved over and laid his head on Danny’s pillow and gently wrapped an arm across his waist.  Danny could tell Steve was being very careful not to touch him in any way that would cause him pain. He reached up and gripped Steve’s arm, holding it in place.  He closed his eyes and was asleep in minutes.

 

Steve, on the other hand, was wide awake wondering what had just happened.  How had he gone from bringing Danny home from the hospital to lying next to him half-naked?  Not that he was complaining, not at all, he was just confused.  Did Danny think they were a couple? His partner had mentioned some dreams the other day. Maybe Danny was delusional and thought they were together.  No, that couldn’t be right.  Danny had mentioned the unspoken thing between them and not wanting to wait anymore.  Steve didn’t want to wait anymore either.  If all they had gone through in the last year and a half had taught him anything, it was that he wanted to be with Danny in every way possible.  He knew Danny felt the same way, but they’d both been too scared to cross that line. Well, that wasn’t exactly true, there had been several times that one or the other of them had tried to say something, but the timing was never right.  It seemed that those heart-felt near revelations always occurred when they were facing a situation that could very possibly result in their demise.  But, if their current situation was anything to go by, Danny had apparently pushed his fears aside.

Steve looked at his sleeping partner.  The last couple of weeks had taken a tremendous physical toll on Danny.  He was extremely pale and had lost too much weight.  Even in sleep, Steve could see the new lines pain had etched on his face. Steve carefully leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on the other man’s temple. Danny’s lips twitched a little, almost in a smile, but he didn’t awaken.  Steve leaned back with a silent sigh. This was what he wanted. What he had wanted for longer than he was willing to admit even to himself.  He wasn’t sure why Danny had decided it was time for them to stop ignoring the elephant in the room, but amazingly Steve wasn’t afraid. In fact, Steve had already decided that once his partner had recovered he was going to tell him his true feelings. Danny just beat him to it … sort of anyway. They still hadn’t actually talked about anything. As he lay thinking about what to say, Steve found himself drifting off to sleep.

Several hours later Steve awoke to Danny’s grunts.  He looked over to see his partner trying to get out of bed.  Trying being the operative word because he definitely wasn’t having much success.  “What the hell are you doing?”

Danny shot him a look, “What do you think I’m doing?  I’m trying to get out of bed so I can go to the bathroom.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up to help you?  At this rate you’re going to tear your stitches and I’ll have to take you back to the hospital. Grace will kill me if that happens. Just stay there and I’ll help.”  Steve tried not to jostle the mattress too much as he eased out of bed.  The last thing he wanted was to cause Danny more pain. 

Danny dropped his head back on his pillow and closed his eyes. “I hate this.  I hate not even being able to get out of the damn bed by myself.”  He cracked one eye open as Steve picked up the pants he had discarded earlier and put them on before rounding the foot of the bed.  “I didn’t want to wake you up.  You needed the rest.  I know you didn’t get much sleep the last week.”

“Hey, I’m used to it. Besides, we slept, what, almost four hours?  My stomach and my bladder would have woken me up soon anyway.”  He leaned down and wrapped an arm around Danny.  “Now, let me help you up.”

Once Danny had refreshed up, Steve helped him back to bed, and then went to the kitchen to make them something to eat.  Since Danny hadn’t been home in over two weeks, Adam had volunteered to clean out and restock the fridge.  He knew Danny didn’t have much of an appetite, so he made comfort food … tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches.  He opened the freezer door and found the Peppermint Patties he had asked Adam to buy.  He placed one on Danny’s tray, grabbed two bottles of water, and headed back to the bedroom.

After they finished eating, Steve took the now lighter trays back to the kitchen. His was lighter than Danny's, but he was satisfied that the other man had at least eaten something. When he returned, Danny was right where he left him, propped up against a mound of pillows.  Steve sat on the edge of the bed, his hip against Danny’s knee. “So, are we going to talk about it?” he asked. They made small talk while they ate, but they hadn’t come close to addressing the issue Danny had raised earlier.

“Yeah, I think it’s time we did.”  Danny closed his eyes for a few seconds before opening them and looking at Steve.  “Do you remember how I told you about the hallucinations I had after I was shot?”  At Steve’s nod, he continued, “Well, what I didn’t tell you is that I saw us,” he waved his finger back and forth indicating the two of them, “running the restaurant together, attending Charlie’s graduation from the Police Academy, Grace getting married at your house, hell, I even saw us as old men sitting on the chairs in your backyard bickering like we always do.  While I know what I saw wasn’t actually the future, I know that it is the future I want.  And, I do, Steve, I want that future with you.”

“I want that too.”

“Really?” Danny gave him a hopeful look.

“Yes, really.  Did you think I didn’t?”  Even though they had never really talked about how they felt, Steve thought they had an unspoken understanding that one day, when the time was right, they would be together. Their relationship had evolved over the years; they’d gone through some rough patches, but in the end their relationship was always made stronger by the adversity. They’d gone from partners, to friends, to something more. For Steve, after finally accepting that he loved Danny and wanted to be with him, the biggest obstacle had been fear. Fear of losing Danny if things didn’t work out. Fear of screwing up and losing the person he loved most in the world. Lately though, they had been inching closer and closer to crossing that line. 

“No,” Danny said. “I thought we were on the same page about this, but until we both actually admitted it out loud, there was always a chance I was wrong.”

“Well you weren’t wrong,” Steve told him.  “I do want that future with you.  In fact, if you hadn’t said something, I was planning to.”  They both just sat there grinning at each other.

“So,” Danny finally said as if he wanted to say something else but was hesitant.

“So?”

“I love you. You know that, right, Steve? I know I haven’t said it much lately.  I’m sorry about that, but it was just too hard to say it without saying everything else, and I just wasn’t ready to do that.  I didn’t think you were ready for that either.”

Steve reached out and took one of Danny’s hands. “I know.  I love you too and not in a “love ya, buddy” sort of way either, but sometimes I just needed to say the words.”  It hadn’t escaped Steve’s notice that Danny had stopped reciprocating when he said I love you.  It had hurt some, but he understood because he understood Danny.

“I know, babe,” Danny told him, “we’ve both been cowards about this, but I’m tired of waiting.”

Steve squeezed his hand. “Well, you know I’ve never been good at waiting once I’ve made up my mind about something.”

“Oh, I am very familiar with that character trait of yours, believe me.”

“Speaking of which, I don’t want to hurt you, but would it be alright if I kissed you?”  They had known each other for over seven years and had never once kissed, but now that they had finally admitted their feelings out loud, true to form, Steve didn’t want wait any longer.

“Yeah, just don’t get too carried away. I don’t think I’m up for more than a kiss. Ugh, please pardon the pun.  It was unintentional, I assure you,” Danny joked.

Steve just grinned, “I’ll pardon you for now, but hopefully you’ll be up for more than just a kiss soon.  And, believe me, that pun was definitely intended.”  

Danny just rolled his eyes, “Oh my god, you are such a goofball.”

“But, you love me.”

“Yes, I love you. Now, didn’t you say something about kissing?”

“Oh, I definitely said something about kissing.”  Steve started to lean forward, but a thought occurred to him and he stopped. “You’ll let me know if I do anything to hurt you, right?”

“Steve, when have I ever not told you when you did something to cause me pain?”

“Right, I don’t know what I was thinking. Not only do you always tell me, you tell me loudly and repeatedly.”

“This time will be no different, I promise.”

“I’m sure it won’t.” Steve leaned forward again and this time he didn’t stop until he reached his target.  Even though they weren’t touching in any other way, it was still an amazing kiss.  With a groan, Steve reluctantly pulled back.  “Umm, I think, I mean, uh, uh … you have a very talented tongue, Danno.”

Danny laughed.  “Just wait, you haven’t seen anything yet.”

“What I see are a lot of cold showers and long swims in my near future.”

“Believe me, it will be worth the wait.”  Steve didn’t doubt the truth of that statement one bit. Even though he wasn’t very good at waiting, he could tell by the look in Danny’s eyes that this time the wait would be definitely worth it.

**_End._ **

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed the story.


End file.
